Update your fairytale
In the rom-com Friends With Benefits, Jamie (Mila Kunis) is hooked on the idea of the classic fairy tale. She wants Prince Charming to come in and sweep her off her feet. But her mum tells her:
“That’s not who you want.
I mean, you’re looking for a man to be your partner. Someone you can take on the world with.
You’ve gotta update your fairy tale, baby.”
Sometimes we all need to re-evaluate what our fairytale is. What is it we are hoping for, and are we hoping for something that will never happen? Whilst you may be holding out for something, so much could be missing you by.
When in the search for a partner, some folk are holding out and hoping for the full on Hollywood movie type thunderbolt when they meet someone, whilst not giving themselves or the other person a chance.
As a single bloke, I often get asked what I am looking for, what my type is and what kind of woman I would want. The main thing I know is what hasn’t worked in the past. And even then the temptation to look backwards rather than forwards raises it’s head unhelpfully every now and again.
I’m not entirely sure what will be right for me in the future but I do know that I don’t want to look backwards anymore. Some chapters close and new chapters begin. No matter how good previous chapters were, your life progresses. Semisonic had a lyric in their song Closing Time that said that ‘Every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end’.
In other avenues of life, we can get swept into the routine of working towards a specific event or an outcome that we’re working towards. That may not be actually what we want or more importantly what we need long term.
Taking stock of your direction of travel and having an honest evaluation of where you are is important, what you do, who you hang round with, etc.. that gives you the opportunity to possible signal to you that you’re maybe not entirely happy with what you are currently on track to achieve, or not achieve.
I’m at that stage in life where I’m reviewing often these very same questions. What do I want to achieve, am I in the right place to get to where I want to be, who is around me to support me in reaching those goals, what do I need to be working on?
We all take wrong choices in life, we can all look back on decisions afterwards and tut to ourselves but it’s the learning from where we are now that’s important and that’s where updating our fairy tale is important.
Life doesn’t drop everything right in front of us, sometimes you got to get off your butt and make an effort too!
We all have it in our grasps to reach out for what can make us happy, for who can make us complete, and what we can contribute in life. I believe very much in looking forwards and doing what I can to develop. Things won’t always work out smooth, but I can at least have good intentions of where I want to be, and what I can do to get there.
So while Jamie in the film is looking for her Prince Charming, she can’t see what it is that would make her happy. For her, it’s not so much who she wants to spend Friday night with but who she wants to spend Saturday day with too.
Time to update your fairytale too, maybe?